Thoughts of Lawyering and Mommying

Work life balance is something we all struggle with – and I think I have just discovered a new facet of this struggle: professional and emotional balance.  Partner and I went to an awards ceremony at a drag show cabaret/bar last night. I was the recipient of one of their several generous scholarships. It was a warm, wonderful crowd. The people that much of society looks at as freaks do so much wonderful fundraising throughout the year to benefit scholars and community organizations. It is a shame more people do not realize that fact. Anyway, I was feeling bad most of last night because when I had to give my “thank you speech” it was the opposite of everything “WE” expect lawyers to be – articulate, poised, prepared. My voice was shaky and when I went to say thank you to my partner, who is pretty much raising our children as a single parent during the week, I got all choked up with tears. (Thankfully my mention of our 13+ years together received a nice round of applause.)

Have women fought so long to be respected in this “man’s profession” that I feel like being emotional takes away my credibility? Maybe. Maybe it’s also those emotions that will keep me in line, and doing the right thing for my family, and others I impact.

I feel better after reading a friend’s post today. It is a poem about appreciating the wonderful moments with our children. I was in tears after reading it and remembered something I realize more and more. Being a mother has changed me. I am more emotional. I see how beautiful and how fragile life can be. I worry about my kids and I love them more than I ever thought possible. I don’t think that will make me a bad lawyer. I think it will make me a good one – well-rounded and able to keep an eye towards what is truly important. What is more professional than that?